Starting up again

I've decided to start blogging again.  I currently have 3 different blogs but am going to do my best to blog weekly - at least - in each blog.  If it comes down to it, my goal is one blog post a week.

For this blog, I've decided to loosely follow prompts from two different programs.  The Pagan Experience is a weekly prompt set up in a month-to-month forum.  Each month has an overall theme and the weekly prompts are arranged with some alphabetical ranges.  Posts are shared weekly on Sundays.

The other program is the Grimoire Challenge on Tumblr.  The prompts are presented weekly will there being writing prompts for most days.  The idea with this challenge is to set up your grimoire by the end of the year into a way that works for your and your workings.

Correspondence

Week 5 - the letter "C" is for Correspondence

Correspondence is another thing that falls into an annoying category within the Pagan community.  At least, annoying to me. 

We've established that there is a ton of information out there from all sorts of sources.  Some info supports other info wile others contradict it.  If you are new to the craft, you could be overwhelmed if you start looking up correspondence for a love spell should you reference different sources.  Which is right?  Which is wrong?  Are any of the answers correct?

I do have correspondence info that I've pulled from different sources and I also have this amazing book, but I also rely on my personal instincts and previous experiences. 

Someone, at some point in time, somewhere, decided that the color red was associated with love and passion.  I'm sure they had their reasons but those may not be the same as mine.  I do related the color red to love and passion but also to blood, courage, and pain.  Correspondence info only works if you believe in it because no matter what anyone has said, you can only do so much magick if you aren't personally invested in the tools and items you are using.

I'm not saying you should totally disregard the generally accepted information out there but make sure that it jives with you.  Question it.  Experiment.  Let your gut give you guidance.  And also know that your selection may change over time or even with each use.

It is part of the process that we grow and change. 

The exception is if you are following a specific tradition.  If that is the case, most traditions have their own correspondence information for the Sabbats, colors, moon phases, elements, etc.   It would be recommended that you abide by your tradition's rules and information.  If something doesn't seem right to you, explore the reasons why you feel this way and then speak to someone - preferably your teacher or mentor - to determine if this can be remedied or if you are to follow that tradition to the letter.

Books

Week 4 - the letter "B" is for Books

(I'm falling behind but this is an attempt to catch up.  Not sure if I will but I am going to keep moving forward.)

Books.  I love them.  I love reading them, purchasing them, smelling them, hoarding them.  But, my Pagan library is somewhat sparse. 

It seems strange since I am such a bibliophile (modern version) but I can explain.  My Pagan books are for learning and increasing my personal knowledge of what I view as my "Shanda-ism".  My Pagan books are for reference and practicality.  Some are very near and dear to my heart, having acquired a sentimental value but most are just tools, much like candles, wands, stones, etc. 

Most are marked up with notes written in the margins.  Many have highlighted passages and pages that have been bent at the corners for a bookmark.  Some are worn and on the verge of falling apart while others are pristine. 

There is so much information out there - published books, websites, online groups, people in real life, stores - that it can be overwhelming.  And the contradiction is crazy. 

My personal belief system is uniquely my own and comes from many different areas.  It is something that I have been working on and building for the past 25+ years.  But early on, it was hard to wade through the information to determine what clicked with me.

One author would have a certain way to perform a Yule celebration while another would have a completely different, if not opposite, description on how he honored the Sabbat.  It was confusing and I was terrified of messing up.  I explored and experimented until something clicked.  Over the years, I've changed and adapted but my books - my go-to books - remain the same. 

I've also found that, unless highly recommended by very trusted and respected sources, I cannot purchase books online.  I need to look through the books to see if the info inside resonates with me and isn't something I have in at least 3 other books and recorded in my Book of Shadows.  The book must serve a purpose.

Because it has also been a while since I was a newbie, I am beyond the basics.  I need to hone my practice in my own way and is focused on trial and error more than anything.  I still love learning new things but I'm becoming more and more set in my ways. 

Books are wonderful and I will carry on a love affair with them for the rest of my days.  But they are meant to be used and enjoyed.  Otherwise, they are just useless chunks of paper, with words splashed upon the pages, and bound together. 

Binding

Week 3 - the letter "B" is for Binding

Outside of wishing on stars, eyelashes, 11:11 and when blowing out the candles on my birthday cake, my first magickal workings were very simple and basic.  Most were taken from books and I didn't customize them at all.  There wasn't much "me" in them and I wasn't always sure if they were working at all.

And then necessity took hold and action was needed. 

A good friend (H)  who I was mentoring to a certain extent, met up with a mutual acquaintance (J) and they started a relationship. At first, everything was peachy.  And then it turned...weird.  H changed a great deal and in ways that were not at all in her character.  J did everything he could to keep her away from us and all to himself. 

It wasn't completely ironic that H's resident assistant said, "it's like she under a spell or something."

I knew J was a skilled witch and he had impressed me with his abilities and knowledge.  He was truly a force to be reckoned with and I was both intimidated and afraid.  Through experience, I'd also learned that he was delusional and his knowledge was contained to a few select subjects.

When J and H didn't return from a weekend, we didn't worry until mid-week hit and no one had heard from either of them.  H's mom had even phoned with her concern about the whereabouts of her daughter.  The college administration was alerted and the police were called.  H was still legally a minor and J was not.  H finally reached out to her roommate and they were on their way to New York City.  H was out of it and making very little sense.  There was no doubt that something was wrong.

Mama Bear mode kicked in and I knew I needed to do something. 

I did a binding spell on J to stop him for doing any further harm towards H, to release the hold he had on her, and to get H back home.  I'd never done a binding and made it up as I went.  I was careful but forceful with my words and intent.  I don't remember exactly what I said or what I did but there were knots cast into the cord of a necklace he'd left behind and my emotions had reached a point of angry tears.

Less than an hour later, we got the call that H and J had been in a car accident.  Neither were severely injured but the car was a total loss and could no longer be driven.  They were being brought home.

Was it me and my spell?  I don't know but I do believe I had a part in getting H home.

Bindings, much like any magickal working, can be positive or negative (white or black, pick your contrasting terms), depending on your intention.  Essentially, a binding is a spell or magickal working that stops someone metaphysically, preventing them from completing some action.  You most often hear it used to keep a person from harming either themselves or another being.   Binding is a form of manipulative magick where the will of another person is affected by the person working the spell.  Because of this, those who follow the Rede and certain traditions would not choose to do such workings. 

In the end, bindings are just another spell and tool to use as necessary.  They should be used with caution and understanding of potential consequences.  But all actions - magickal or not - should get the same consideration. 

Assumptions

Week 2 - the letter "A" is for Assumptions

Since I recognized that my belief system was pagan-based, I've encountered a lot of assumptions from both pagans and non-pagans.  These assumptions run in a million and a half different directions with most being incorrect.  It's frustrating and annoying.

But I do have a question.  How does someone assuming something about me make ME an ass?  Is it because of that person's misinformation that I look less than favorable?  How does that work?  I totally understand how making an assumption can make the assuming person an ass because, by definition according to dictionary.com, assuming is "to take for granted or without proof."

Assumptions can lead to a positive curiosity and a great learning opportunity.  But if your exploration of the assumption is one-sided or inaccurate, you really aren't all that more educated on the topic than you where when you made your assumptions.  

People make assumptions all the time.  It's something that most everyone does.  What matters is if you take your assumptions and claim they are fact and discount anyone who says otherwise.  This is where the danger comes from.

Work on digging into your assumptions.  Ask questions and get clarifications.  Check multiple different sources.  Test it out to see if it feels "right."  Don't assume that just because I'm a Pagan and you are a Pagan that we have the same views on magick, energy, divinity, etc.   If you want to know more about what kind of Pagan I am, ask.  I'll give you as much information as I am able and clarify to the best of my ability.

Announcement

Week 1 - the letter "A" is for Announcement

The Pagan Blog Project founder has decided to move on to other projects so I was feeling a little sad. I really enjoyed the past year and digging deeper into my belief system and sharing my thoughts.  Luckily, I have some amazing and diverse groups in my life and one of those groups decided to give it a shot.  Awesome.

But, I'm running behind because of issues in my personal life. It's - in my opinion - cheating some but I'm calling this my week one post. 

I'm filling the role of prompter for my lovelies and will gladly share them with anyone who is interested.  Just let me know.  In addition to prompting, I'm also the one to encourage everyone to get their post...er, posted.  This is a shame-free event where you aren't tied to any rules, you are not obligated to post on the specified date, you don't even have to write about something Pagan or Witchy.  It's become a group of friends sharing info and thoughts with each other and we encourage everyone along the way.

The group is a private/closed group but since the prompts come from the original Pagan Blog Project and from information I've found, I can share them with others.  I just won't be adding you to the group.  

So stay tuned.  More to come. 

Zen

Week 52 - the letter "Z" again

Here we are with the end of the 2014 Pagan Blog Project.  I am quite proud that I completed the project and posted at least 52 times.  I am definitely going to continue with the project in 2015 because I've learned so much about myself and about my spirituality.

This week, I'm writing about the art of being Zen.  

Zen
/zɛn/ noun
1. a Japanese school, of 12th-century Chinese origin, teaching that contemplation of one's essential nature to the exclusion of all else is the only way of achieving pure enlightenment
2. Chinese Ch'an. Buddhism. a Mahayana movement, introduced into China in the 6th century a.d. and into Japan in the 12th century, that emphasizes enlightenment for the student by the most direct possible means, accepting formal studies and observances only when they form part of such means.

To many, myself included, Zen is a feeling or a mindset of enlightenment.  It is one of peace, comfort, and security.  While it is a movement or practice, it is also a state-of-mind.  Zen is something I personally wish to achieve and then maintain as much as possible.

Participating in this blog project has allowed me to dig deeper into my personal belief system and establish what it is and what it is not.  For me, that is something that helps bring me to a very zen-like state.  Being an eclectic Pagan, I have no rules or guidelines to follow.  It is up to me to create these for my Shanda-ism.  I generally dislike labels and putting things into categories, but I did need to do that for this.  

Is it defined fully and completely?  No.  But I am getting closer and do have a firmer grip on myself and my spirituality.  And I am honestly proud of the discoveries I've made along this journey and look forward to continuing the next step.

Here's what I've discovered:

Shanda-ism is:

• Pagan
• Eclectic
• Focused on the Elements of Earth, Air, Fire, and Water
• Honoring the Moon, especially her full stage
• Recognizing and celebrating the Seasonal changes, primarily on the changes within Nature
• Balanced in as many ways possible
• Belief in Animism, Pantheism, and reincarnation
• Supports, nurtures, and gives back to the Pagan community that is my own 
• Influenced by Wicca, ADF Druidism, Buddhism, Huna, and Feri Tradition
• It's a little bit Hedge Witch-based
• When I practice magick, it is Grey Witchcraft - embracing both good and bad/light and dark while fully understanding the consequences of all actions
• Belief in Karma as both fear- and love-based
• Has guidelines, not rules, that are based on my personal morals and ethics
• Incorporating labyrinths and animals when possible
• Mostly solitary but does play well with others
• Encourages family participation and exploration

 
Shanda-ism is not:

• Christian
• Highly structured
• Deity-driven
• Focused on Magic(k)
• Ran on Pagan Standard Time 
• Filled with hard and fast rules

Z and K

Week 51 - the letter "Z"

It's a Z week and I didn't know what to write about and have spent most of the week trying to think of the right Z topic to really capture my spirituality.  And...nothing.  Nada.  Zilch.  Ended up having a two-hour phone call/bitch-fest/cry session with one of my best friends and it clicked.  Ironically, the topic actually has nothing to do with her.

I'm choosing to write about my kids - Z and K.  For the record, they are my step kids but I honestly couldn't love them more if they were my own.  And, technically, they are my soon-to-be ex-step kids since their father and I have separated and will be divorcing at some point.  Z is an almost 19 year old college freshman and K is a 15 year old high school sophomore.  I've been in their lives since they were 6, almost 7, and 3.

Why write about them in regards to my spirituality?  Well, for one, they are the two most important people in my life.  They are my family and have been involved with Paganism in some way since our lives joined together.  They have participated in rituals and study groups.  They have asked questions and discovered their own paths to explore and own.  One of my proudest Pagan Mama moments was when the two of them worked together to create and perform an Ostara ritual for our family.

The four of us would have family classes to learn more about Paganism and explore different ideas.  We have done some family rituals and were working towards establishing a family tradition of sorts.  Because of the changes in our lives, that isn't something we are actively working towards at the time.  I haven't spoken with them to see if it is something they would like to continue.

Did we actively raise the children to be Pagan?  Nope.  We encouraged them to find what worked for them.  We supported them as they were in different Christian-based youth groups.  They were never forced to attend a Pagan gathering or class.  I don't know that I would call us a Pagan family but the roots are there.  

My kids are tied to my spirituality because they are tied to me.  They are open-minded, smart, and passionate kids who are making their way in the world.  Z is exploring the Druid tradition and K has felt an affinity to Persephone.  I don't know if either we stay on a Pagan or Pagan-like path and I don't care.  I'm just glad that we have been able to share that connection and it will always remain a link between the three of us. 

At some point, I want to honor this connection with them with a tattoo or a piece of jewelry.  I've seen some designs that are referred to as the Celtic symbol for motherhood. From Inked Weddings:

Celtic Motherhood Knot Design: Traditionally, it is one of two hearts intertwined together; the lines seemingly have no openings, so they strongly signify an unbreakable bond. One heart is lower than the first heart and both hearts are intertwined in a continuous knot. Children are denoted by a dot which can be inside or outside the heart design.

Variations are hearts, starts, flowers, initials, zodiac symbols, colored dots symbolizing the birthstone or their names instead of the traditional dots. The variations and possibilities are endless and limited only by your imagination. A phrase you can incorporate into your motherhood knot design is: Grá Máthair which translated from Gaelic, means “A mother’s love”. Or you can use, Grá Mo Chroí which means the “love of my heart” or “my love, my darling”. Is there any love greater then that of a mother and her children? There is an old Irish saying that says ” A mother holds her children’s hands for a little while and their hearts forever.”

I like the design and symbolism a great deal.  I don't know if it is a route that I will go or not but it is something to consider.  My bond with the kids is important to me on every level and I'd like to proclaim that with something creative and unique. 

Yin Yang, part 2

Week 50 - the letter "Y" again

Last week was Yin Yang and I am fried from the week.  I honestly don't know what topic to cover and I also just cannot think much right now so we are going to play picture time on the same topic.

 

Yin Yang

Week 49 - the letter "Y"

The concept of Yin Yang is one that fits nicely into my spirituality.  Balance is incredible important to me in all aspects of my life and it is something that I actively work to achieve.  To many, the primary representation of Yin Yang (also known as "Yin and Yang" or "Yinyang") is a balance.  And while that is an aspect, it is not the only one.

There are four main aspects of Yin and Yang relationship:

1. Yin-Yang are opposites - They are either on the opposite ends of a cycle, like the seasons of the year, or, opposites on a continuum of energy or matter. This opposition is relative, and can only be spoken of in relationships. For example: Water is Yin relative to steam but Yang relative to ice. Yin and Yang are never static but in a constantly changing balance.
2. Interdependent: Can not exist without each other - The Tai Ji (Supreme Ultimate) diagram shows the relationship of Yin & Yang and illustrates interdependence on Yin & Yang. Nothing is totally Yin or totally Yang. Just as a state of total Yin is reached, Yang begins to grow. Yin contains seed of Yang and vise versa. They constantly transform into each other. For Example: no energy without matter, no day without night. The classics state: "Yin creates Yang and Yang activates Yin".
3. Mutual consumption of Yin and Yang - Relative levels of Yin Yang are continuously changing. Normally this is a harmonious change, but when Yin or Yang are out of balance they affect each other, and too much of one can eventually weaken (consume) the other.
4. Inter-transformation of Yin and Yang - One can change into the other, but it is not a random event, happening only when the time is right. For example: Spring only comes when winter is finished.

The complexity of Yin Yang is also incredibly simple.  And to me, that is beautiful.

General Qualities of Yin and Yang:

Yin = Darkness...Yang = Light
Yin = Moon...Yang = Sun
Yin = Feminine...Yang = Masculine
Yin = Shade...Yang = Brightness
Yin = Rest...Yang = Activity
Yin = West...Yang = East
Yin = Sunset...Yang = Sunrise
Yin = North...Yang = South
Yin = the heavens...Yang = the earth
Yin = Right...Yang = Left
Yin = Flat...Yang = Round
Yin = Matter...Yang = Energy
Yin = More material/dense...Yang = Non-material, rarefied

When you look at the symbol, you see how each section has a little bit of the other in itself.  You cannot have one without the other and they aren't truly opposites but do balance each other or are parts of a continuous cycles.  My goal is to lead a life as balanced as possible.

Yin and Yang is also used in Chinese Medicine.  The information is interesting but not something that excites me so visit this site to read more.

“If we never experience the chill of a dark winter, it is very unlikely that we will ever cherish the warmth of a bright summer’s day. Nothing stimulates our appetite for the simple joys of life more than the starvation caused by sadness or desperation. In order to complete our amazing life journey successfully, it is vital that we turn each and every dark tear into a pearl of wisdom, and find the blessing in every curse.” - Anthon St. Maarten, Divine Living: The Essential Guide To Your True Destiny