Eclectic

Week #9 - the letter "E"

ec·lec·tic [ih-klek-tik] adjective
1. selecting or choosing from various sources.
2. made up of what is selected from different sources.
3. not following any one system, as of philosophy, medicine, etc., but selecting and using what are considered the best elements of all systems.

Even when I didn't know any different, I was an eclectic Pagan.  When I first started out, I was Wiccan because that was my only option and experience.  Even then, I was still eclectic.

Being able to create my own spiritual path and religion was one of the reasons I continued on the Pagan path.  It was freeing to use what worked for me and what connected with my inner self and let the rest go.  That was not something I was afforded when I was raised in the Catholic faith.

You don't get to pick and choose in Catholicism.  You are to follow the rules/commandments, abide by the teachings you are presented, and not question...at least that was my experience/interpretation.  If you didn't agree - say on abortion - you didn't get to just "ignore" that view.

(Begin mini-rant)  Yes, there are Catholics and persons of all faiths that do not follow their religion as it is taught.  I understand that.  My biggest complaint is the person who uses their religion as a reason for doing and thinking in a certain way but then disregards what does not work for them. 

In my past, I had two Catholic ladies in one of the classes I was taking.  Both had "gotten" pregnant and were not overly happy about the situation they now found themselves in.  We - multiple classmates - were discussing this with the ladies prior to class when someone suggested abortion.  The ladies were shocked. "Oh no," one said, "I could never do that, it goes against my religion."  

The conversation moved on when someone asked if the ladies had been using any means of birth control.  Both had been - one on birth control pills and the other using condoms - but the methods had failed.

So...the Catholic ladies won't do something (abortion) to remedy a situation because it goes against their religion.  BUT the unmarried (premarital sex) ladies had tried to prevent pregnancy (birth control)...wait, how does that work?  You cannot do A because it violates the code of your religious beliefs, but you did do B and C that were against your religion.  I didn't realize the Catholic faith was so grey in terms of dos and don'ts. (End mini-rant)

My belief system/spirituality is a extremely eclectic.  There are elements of Wicca, Native American traditions, Feri tradition, Buddhism, and Druidry.  I draw influence from the solemnness of the Catholic mass and the fervour of a Baptist Revival.  My heart and intuition inspire and assure me while my personal moral and ethical values steer the course.  And that is just the start of my inspiration.

Another benefit to being eclectic is that as I grow and change and gain more experience, I am free to change up my system.  Something that once served my needs can be dropped or replaced.  A tried and true method can be tweaked with a bit of flair from a recent ritual experience.  As I am constantly evolving, so is my spirituality.

There is chatter in the Pagan community about someone being too eclectic.  One issue is that those who are eclectic never fully experience one tradition before just taking what they want from it and abandoning the rest.  Another statement is that the eclectic Pagan is "raping" other religions/traditions and not honoring the sacredness of the original intent. And, of course, you hear the question of "if you are eclectic, how do you know if you are doing something correctly?"

To address those issues, I have this to say:

You are right that I often do not fully experience a tradition before I find something I like about it and incorporate it into my own system.  But I do not just abandon that tradition that I have drawn from.  I do study it and learn what I can.  I don't dedicate myself to it but do continue to educate myself.  Besides, if I found one thing I liked enough to use for myself, perhaps I will discover more.  After some time, yes, I may just stop studying about said tradition but I will have learned something and grown.

Anything that I find or experience that is pulled into my practice is done so with the utmost respect and humility.  I honor and recognize the sacredness and keep it as part of my beliefs. Inspiration is everywhere and my spirituality is rooted in reverence for nature and all of humanity.

As for knowing if I'm doing something right or wrong, well that is totally on me. If a spell fails or a ritual flops, I know something didn't go right.  I don't need to trash the entire thing, at least not yet, but I do need to work out the kinks.  It's a learning process.  What is "right" is also dictated by my own morals and ethics.  If it feels "wrong", I don't do it and if it feels "right", I do.  Simple.

I'm not a fan of limiting statements such as, "you must", "always", "never", "the right way", etc.  Someone, at some time, decided you must put your altar in the East, you should always cast the circle in a clockwise fashion, never use a black candle for a prosperity spell...so why can I not make the same decisions based on what feels right for me?

This is MY belief system and MY spirituality.  It is unique to ME. Eclectic is what, and who, I am.

My soul

Divination

Week #8 - the letter "D" again

One of the first purchases I made after I became a Witch was a deck of tarot cards.  Because that is what I was supposed to do, right?  I certainly thought that was the case.

I tried to work with them.  I really, really tried.  But, we never clicked.  I kept at it for many years, sporadically.  Honestly, I felt like a failure.

The opportunity to test drive other decks became available to me but I still didn't feel like tarot was my thing.

Eventually, I found Karma Cards.  I loved them and still use them today.  They were easy to understand and were quite basic.   I was glad that I had some form of divination to use. More tarot decks entered my life but were generally given to others.

I knew there were many types of divination so I began exploring.

Astrology was interesting but the complexities of natal charts overwhelmed me.  Besides, I never really connected to my astrological sign of Taurus.  If I couldn't find the connection for myself, it was difficult to try to do the same for others.

I toyed a bit with Palmistry and using a Pendulum.  Tea leaves and dream interpretation were fun but didn't feel right for me.  And then I found Numerology.

For a girl who transposes numbers and is not a fan of math, I was surprised that it clicked with me.  I have studied it and even taught a class on it but have never fully immersed myself into really learning it.  I can chart your numbers but I'm not confident in defining their meanings in any given position, not without a book or cheat sheet.  I really need to get back to it because it's quite enjoyable for me and it's one form of divination that a lot of people don't do for themselves.

Maybe because of stereotypes or my own ideology, but I wanted to have and use and connect with a tarot deck.

I attended a tarot class in 2007 and fell in love with The Well Worn Path by Raven Grimassi, Stephanie Taylor and Mickie Mueller.  My husband also fell in love with the deck. Perhaps tarot cards were not for me.  My husband was excited to find a deck he was drawn to so we decided he should get them.  While we were researching them, we found a companion deck called The Hidden Path also by Grimassi, Taylor and Mueller.  I liked it more than the Well Worn Path so I decided to get it.  Alas, the cards are beautiful but I still felt nothing.

More time passes and I revisit my love of Numerology and even find a slight connection to pendulum work and teach the basics of both to other group members.  I take a class on making Runes and then teach one about Rune layouts and interpretation.  Digging deeper I conduct a workshop series on Palmistry.  When another group member decides to lead a monthly tarot class, I signed up and again searched for a deck.

It was the beauty of the cards that drew me to Legacy of the Divine Tarot by Ciro Marchetti.  They were stunning and something about them made me ache to own a deck.  I did a lot of research and a lot of looking at cards, but always came back to the Legacy deck.  

When it arrived, I was thrilled.  It was even more beautiful in person.  I've always felt a connection to the Empress card and have discovered that my reaction to that card tends to influence my thoughts on the deck as a whole.  When I spied it, my breath caught in my throat.  Could this really be my deck?

They were amazing and truly works of art.  They felt slightly cool and tingly in my hands.  Looking through the deck, I found more surprises.  I was feeling connections to the cards.  Imagine my surprise to find that the Devil card was hot!  (Seriously, the card is sexy.)

I began working with the cards and my mind just started opening up.  We were connecting and I was finally getting the experience I had desired for so long.  I read the accompanying book but don't use it when I do readings.  I just go for it.

Toying with different spreads, I found one that worked for me.  It's called the snapshot spread and I've modified it slightly.  There are 5 areas with three cards each.  The cards in each area work together as one overall impression for that area.  The areas represent home, career, finances, relationships, and general future.  My readings don't require the querent ask a question - either aloud or in their mind.  In my experiences, the reading does tend to skew towards whatever matter is most pressing for the querent at that moment, even if they don't realize it themselves.

I felt like I needed more, something to add to my readings.  In the tarot class, our instructor used a set of cards to encourage us to look at a card and interpret it.  They were lovely, simple, and perfect.

Once the querent has shuffled the Legacy deck, I have them shuffle and draw a card from my Healing with the Faeries Oracle deck by Doreen Virtue.  Let it be known that I'm not into the Fae but I love the deck.  Each card depicts a faerie and a simple word or phrase such as "inner child", "peace of mind", "new opportunity."  In my readings, they amplify the overall snapshot.

There was still something missing.  A friend had a set of cards - Virtues Reflection Cards - that were interesting.  I spent some time looking through them and knew I needed a set of my own so I snagged a set for The Virtues Project.  The cards are great for any number of activities and I've used them for journaling, meditation, and as a general guide to any given situation.

Generally, I do not look at the card and just hand it to the querent.  Each card lists a virtue, its description, a quote relating to the virtue, how to practice the virtue, and an affirmation.  Usually the card strikes a chord with the person and it often pertains to underlying issues.

I enjoy divination a great deal now that I have several methods that work for and with me.  I use the snapshot spread with the amplifiers, I use my Karma Cards.  I play with Numerology and am planning to devote more time to it.  Occasionally I like to pull out my Runes or Pendulum to see if something has changed between us.  I like trying new forms of divination and will continue to explore.

Divination isn't a necessary part of my path but it's a nice addition.  I really like being able to perform the service for others.  I just feel fortunate that I have found some methods that I like and feel competent to practice.

Druidism

Week #7 - the letter "D"

When I was taking the first tentative steps on my Pagan path, my only reference was the Wiccan-based book "Living Wicca - A Further Guide for the the Solitary Practitioner" by Scott Cunningham. I learned a great deal and Cunningham became a go-to reference for me for many years to come.  I still have many of his books and am thankful for the solid foundation they gave me.

Further study continued to revolve around Wicca and the various traditions.  It was what was widely available.  While much of Wicca clicked with me, there were aspects that didn't.  I knew there was more to Paganism than just Wicca but I struggled to find it.

Time continues and I get a taste of Native American beliefs and learn about Buddhism.  I'm eclectic in my belief system so I incorporate what works for me into my practice.  The pieces were coming together.

In 2012 I got to experience a Druid ritual.  It truly moved me.  The meditation we did during the ritual had me tearing up.  It was based upon the "Two Powers Meditation" by Ian Corrigan.   From the ADF website:

ADF Logo

This is a basic meditation intended to link the Druid's spirit and flesh to the currents of Earth and Sky. It is based on methods that have become known in Pagan work as "grounding and centering". All these methods are meant to connect the student to spiritual powers in the cosmos, and to provide balanced channels of flow for those powers in the personal soul. Some form of this technique should precede almost any work of worship or magic. The Two Powers model is based on core concepts in Indo-European lore, but is not, by any means, the only vision or mythic model useful in our Druidry.

My husband and children were also intrigued and the four of us, especially my son, wanted to learn more.  But, as is typical with me, life happened.  There was no dedicated study but random information consumed when it happened to appear in my life.  My son was studying and this past Yule, we got him a one-year membership to Ár nDraíocht Féin: A Druid Fellowship (ADF). 

In September 2013, one of my dear and long-time friends reached a monumental goal in her life and received approval to start the very first Protogrove in Nebraska.  I was honored to attend the first ritual of Prairie Shadow Protogrove, ADF as we celebrated Samhain.  From that moment, my need to learn about Druidism was ignited. 

PSP - Omaha, NE

I'm not working the Dedicant Path and I'm not even an official member of ADF, but I am studying with hope of doing both in the very near future.  I am also anxious to attend more PSP events so I can experience Druidism in person. 

Will Druidry be my only path?  I don't know but lean towards no.  I rather love my eclectic system but I'm positive ADF will have some influences. 

Community, part two

Week #6 - the letter "C" continued

Back to community and the continuation of my last post...

My community expanded to include a new group in September of 2012. One of my best friends and her husband created Prairie Star Circle (PSC): a monthly Pagan religious service — a ritual — held in Kearney, Nebraska. These rituals are public, participatory, and the liturgical structure changes from month to month to represent several contemporary Pagan traditions, such as Wicca, Druidry, Heathenry, Hellenism, and more.  PSC also offered random workshops.

It was fun being a part of a ritual where I didn't have to plan anything or lead.  And my friends put on some amazing rituals that I probably never would have been able to experience otherwise.  What PSC was doing was a huge asset to the Pagan community.

Sadly, the founders of PSC moved away in May of 2013.  The founders offered a training class for a few of the regular attendees.  I took it along with two others.  We were "certified" and, on June 2, 2013 we took over as the ritualists for the group.  Myself and one other ritualist are the leaders of the group and the other certified trainer is an assistant by her own choice.  Because of some life changes, I am now the only leader of the group but I'm doing what I can to keep it going.

As if I didn't have enough on my plate already, I finally took the leap and applied to be a Local Coordinator with the Pagan Pride Project, Inc.  There mission statement had me hooked: "The mission of the Pagan Pride Project is to foster pride in Pagan identity through education, activism, charity and community".  It was a perfect fit.

On July 23, 2013, Kearney Area Pagan Pride was born and less than three months after that, we held the first Kearney Area Pagan Pride Day. The mission of KAPP is to educate the public about Paganism and other forms of Earth-based spirituality with focus on the diversity of religious expression in our community in an effort to bring about harmony amongst all spiritual paths.

My community continues to grow and branch into different areas in both the Pagan and non-Pagan communities.  I finally have my sense of community in my Pagan world.  It really is lovely and one of the best things ever.

Through Kearney Area Pagan Pride, I've been able to network with other Pagans in Nebraska.  I have also met others in our area who didn't know there were any other Pagans in our area.  Prairie Star Circle gives me the opportunity to focus on the spiritual and religious side of my belief system while also being open for those who are curious about Paganism or just want a sip of what it's like.  And Rural Nebraska Witches' Group gives me the social opportunities to engage with others and just be myself.  It also fills my desire to teach and play a role in ritual, instead of always having to lead ritual.  With my family, we create our own community and a family practice that will be passed to future generations.

I have my community and I am a reflection of my community.  But what does that mean?

A few weeks ago, a new friend and I met for a marathon chat session.  She is a Priestess in her tradition and I consider myself to be a Priestess as well.  Neither of us has gone through degrees of initiation into specific traditions but the roles we have held and do hold, put us into the position.  It isn't a title either of us take lightly but it is one that is implied and bestowed upon us by our communities.  When leading ritual, we take on the title of High Priestess.

Someone she knows encouraged her to always remain a Community Priestess and not become a Professional Priestess.  That sparked my curiosity because I'd never heard either term.  She went on to explain that a Professional Priestess is one who does her job for money.  This means she holds rituals and charges for attendance or that she has a fee to teach.  She is driven by money, fame, and power.  Being a Priestess is her job and source of income.  Her identity is wrapped in her title of Priestess.

A Community Priestess does her job because she wants to help her community.  Her fees, if any, are small and negotiable.  She is drawn to do her job because it is a passion and she is driven by her sense of community.  Her desire to help her community grow and prosper far outweigh her want for money, fame, or power.

I'm not saying either is right or wrong, or if one is good or bad.  It's a personal choice.  Would I make my living, if I could, serving as a Professional Priestess?  In a heartbeat.  But I really do not see that happening.  Even if it did happen, I would still be a Community Priestess at heart and the values of a Community Priestess would always win out.

With that, this is my vow:

I am a Community Priestess
I am a reflection of my community
I nurture my community
I educate my community
I give back to my community
I am proud of my community
So mote it be.

On my road to figuring out my belief system, nurturing my community is a definite.

Community

Week #5 - the letter "C"

When I first began my journey on the Paganism road, I didn't realize how lonely I would feel.  Mind you, this was before the internet was widely available and I was still in high school in a small Nebraska town with a population of roughly 4000.  I knew NO ONE who was Pagan.  Heck, I didn't really even know anyone who wasn't Christian.  I was alone.

I knew there had to be others out there.  After all, there were books written by other Pagans.  In many of those books there were resources listed in the back.  Addresses and phone numbers for groups and covens and magazines and sanctuaries were readily.  But nothing for a 15 year old with no money or means of travel. 

So I did would I could, read what I could find.  Anything "occult-like" was fascinating to me.  I wanted a connection to someone.  I had a few friends who were into things like trying to read palms, guessing if a playing card was red or black, or anything with even the slightest occult connection.  For the time being, that worked.

In college, I met another Pagan.  We talked and shared.  I had access to money and real book stores. I slowly began to accumulate more knowledge and practical experiences.  I was starting to really come into my own spiritually but I still longed for a community larger than two people.

But why?

Perhaps my Catholic up-bringing had led me to link community and religion/spirituality.  I had grown up playing with some of the same kids for years in the church nursery and day care.  We took CCD (Confraternity of Christian Doctrine) or Catechism classes weekly and attended Sunday School together.  Our parents were friends.  Our church was a large family that came together for weddings, funerals, and weekly worship.  We supported each other, helped each other, learned together, and grew together.  We had community and I loved it.

It is the best rationale I can summon.

Moving on...

In my last year of college (1996-97) I was lucky to meet some new students who were also Pagan or Pagan curious.  Before long, we had a bit of a coven.  We studied together, practiced together, became close friends, and really relied on each other.  Myself and another gal were the leaders because we had the most experience and access to the most resources.  Although it was small, I had a community.

But then I graduated and ended up moving back to my hometown of 4000-ish people.  But, there was the internet!  Oh, Blessed Be, the world wide web.  It was my sanity and saving grace.  Information was at my fingertips.  For 5 years, my community was just me and the info on the web.  So I studied and practiced as a solitaire.

Most of my close friends knew I was Pagan and were cool with it.  There were occasional questions and curiosity but I still wanted a community. 

No, at that point, I needed a community. 

This community would be one of like-minded individuals who were Pagan.  The people who wanted to grow and explore our spirituality.  Someone to talk to and ask questions of.  Perhaps practice together or even start a working coven together.  Maybe friendships would develop and bonds formed.  I needed to be able to have an outlet where I could be 100% me, showing off all aspects of my personality and soul. 

So what's a witch to do?  Create a community!

On September 27, 2002 I formed an online community utilizing Yahoo! Groups.  My vision for the group - Wiccans in Nebraska (or WINEB for short) - was "to network with others in Nebraska. My dream for this group is to create a place where those both in and out of the broom closet can come together, form friendships, share knowledge, ask questions, and feel as if they belong." 

Over a five year period, the group grew large enough that we had routine chats and online classes.  Some members stepped up as teachers and mentors.  Bonds were formed and some still remain true and strong today.  Although the group is still open, we haven't been overly active since 2007.  The group ran it's course and I vow to never close it because everyone needs a home and somewhere to feel that they are part of a community.

I still craved more.  I wanted a physical community where we would meet in person to socialize, learn, and practice together.  A WINEB member told me about a group she was in called the Rural Nebraska Witches' Group (RNWG).  The group, organized and ran through the wonderful meetup.com site, was based out of the town where I currently lived and had been going strong for about eight months.  I figured, why not, and attended the group's 2007  Beltane event with my husband and kids in tow.

To say I was nervous would be putting it lightly.  I was terrified.  My last real experience with other Pagans had not ended well (more on that at another time), so being around so many Pagans that I didn't know was a real leap of faith for me.  It was also a huge trust issue since this would be the first time my husband and kids were around a group of Pagans and the first time they would witness a large, group ritual.  I had to mentally prepare myself to be on the defensive and be ready to protect me and mine if it came to it. 

But it was wonderful.  The ritual - where the rainy and dreary day suddenly became rain-free and a beam of light shone through the clouds - was the stuff of movies.  The people were amazingly friendly.  I found that I "knew" some of the people from online and WINEB.  Could this be my community?

About six weeks later, I led the group in a Midsummer ritual and by September, there was a change in leadership and I became co-organizer of the group.  Me and one of my best friends have been leading RNWG ever since by hosting social events, learning circles, and group rituals.

Stay tuned for my next entry in the Pagan Blog Project where I will continue to discuss community.  

the Broom Closet

Week #4 - the letter "B" again

Being "in" or "out" of the broom closet is a personal choice.  Someone may choose to be in or out for a variety of reasons and in a variety of different environments.  I have friends who are completely out, so much so that they don't even remember where the broom closet is located.  Others are deep inside, behind a triple-bolted door, afraid to even make a peep should another person notice the broom closet.  Most are somewhere in the middle - partially out to friends and family, out to only a select few co-workers, etc.  I do my best to help those people maintain their level of comfort with being "in" or "out."

My closet time has fluctuated over the years.

I was pretty "out" about my spirituality in the beginning.  I would wear my pentacle necklace with pride for all the world to see.  If someone asked, I would tell them that I was a Pagan.  Often that would then be followed by some questions to clarify so I would answer them to the best of my ability.  I owned my Paganism.  I came out to my mom early on and, after reassuring her that I was not some Gothic, animal-sacrificing devil worshiper, she appeared to be mostly okay with her daughter being a Witch.  A few years later, she outed me to her entire side of the family.

Somewhere along the line, I opened the door to my broom closet and stood in the threshold.  I would smile and wave from my perch, sometimes stepping out further into the light and other times retreating into the dark.  This all depended on my situation and the people involved.  I remained here for a very long time.

In late-2002 when I met my husband-to-be and his children, I had to pause and really examine my location.  He knew I was a Pagan and was even following the path but how do you tell young children?  We took the idea of exposing them to bits and pieces of Paganism, as well as keeping their mundane life in tact.  They joined us at rituals a few times before we sat them down and told them directly that Dad and Shanda were Pagans.

Lots of questions and lots of experiences later and we now practice as a family.  We didn't push them to become Pagan and supported them fully when they were involved with Christian-based churches.  One thing we hoped to teach them in regards to religion is to be open-minded and respectful.  I really feel we succeeded.

At that point, I was once again very "out."  I knew when to keep quiet or when to tuck my pentacle back under my shirt.  But I wasn't going to deny who I was and what I believed if I was asked.  That practice has served me well.

When I applied to be a Local Coordinator for the Pagan Pride Project, Inc. in 2013, I had to agree to be "out" of the broom closet because I was to be the public figurehead for my area.  Not a problem at all since I was mostly "out" anyway.  However, I needed to run it past some very important people in my life because being "out" in my life was a bit different than being "out" and directly associated with an international organization.

The first person I spoke with was my husband.  He's Pagan and I would consider him to be half in and half out of the broom closet.  We live in Central Nebraska and it's not a very diversified community in any way.  Because of that, I needed to get his okay to apply because his last name would be tied to me and to Paganism in our community.  He told me to go for it, not that I expected him to say otherwise.

The step kids were next.  I needed to clearly explain to them what the position of Local Coordinator would be in regards to publicity.  They are both exploring Paganism and trying to find their own spiritual paths so I knew it could reflect on them.  Plus, both weren't really set on a path so they were neither in nor out.  Both gave me the thumbs up.

I'm a leader/organizer/facilitator of two local Pagan groups.  Prairie Star Circle - a monthly Pagan religious service (ritual) - is open to persons of all faiths so gaining approval of the other co-facilitator was not necessarily needed but I did owe him the courtesy.  The Rural Nebraska Witches' Group is a more so social group where members join and attend those events they choose.  Some members of RNWG are totally out and others are not at all.  We have some members that are out to a selective group of people within their lives.  Because of the choice to be closeted, I wanted to run it past the other co-organizer so she could present her viewpoint and thoughts.

Approval and applause from both parties.

I applied and landed the position.  A few months after that, we held the first ever Kearney Area Pagan Pride Day on October 20, 2013.  Only weeks earlier the first Nebraska Pagan Pride Day was held in Omaha.  It was certainly a banner year for the Pagan community in our state.

Less than a week after KAPPD, I was interviewed by a reporter with the local paper.  I was nervous because I didn't want to come off sounding bad or have my words taken out of context.  I am working to build up our Pagan community and show the non-Pagans that our only true difference is our belief systems. 

They article (Hahn Kinkade: Pagans are 'just like everyone else') was...okay.  Some of the quotes that are directly attributed to me were from brochures and information from the national website.  But it was a positive story. 

The responses, in general, where expected.  I had supporters and those who disagreed with allowing a Pagan group to hold such an event in our town.  Comments about finding baby parts around town would just show there are Pagans here. The story was posted to the paper's Facebook page and the comments were varied.  The Witches' Voice Facebook page also shared it and the biggest issue circled around Paganism being a "mystery tradition" so why were we public. 

Do I regret being "out" to the entire community?  No, not in the least.  I am proud to be a Pagan and I am proud of what the Pagan community in central Nebraska is becoming.  I own my Paganism and the impact I have had on our community.  For me, being out is the right thing for me. 

All life matters

This ties in very well to my two posts on Animism - part 1 and part 2.  In fact, it applies to my belief system very well.

Brighid

Week #3 - the letter "B"

Last year, Prairie Star Circle presented a dynamic ritual entitled "Journey to the Sacred Well."  I was lucky to attend and had a wonderful time.  The biggest part of the experience for me was during the guided meditation.

But first, I need to backtrack just a bit.

In my practice, I've never felt truly connected to any one specific deity.  And, believe me, it is not for lack of trying.  I've studied, "dated", honored, prayed to, and explored multiple gods and goddesses.  I never clicked with anyone.  I never felt that connection that so many of my fellow Pagans have experienced.  I was honestly bummed.

But, my Wiccan beginning left me feeling comfortable with a generic God and Goddess.  I could ask the Lord and Lady to join me in my rite.  Mother Earth and Father Sky would occasionally take their place in my circle.  Use whatever non-identifying name that still represented a male and female aspect and it worked for me.

However, I did still long for the connection or sign.

Brigid at Imbolc by Alivanna Rose Moore

Back to the ritual...  During the guided meditation we walked from a safe location of our own design to a well within a forested area.  There we met someone who gave us a token.  This someone, to me, was to represent the Goddess Brighid or actually be Brighid.  Imagine my shock and surprise when the someone pulled down the hood of her cloak and I was looking at myself, or at least someone who looked like me but had this glow and essence that I didn't personally see within myself.

Whoa.

What did this mean?  Are there aspects of Brighid that I exhibit?  Does she have something to teach me?  Is this my connection to deity that I have craved and sought out for years?  Is she my Patron Goddess?  I still was not sure but I knew that I needed to check her out more.  I needed to find the meaning in her showing herself during my meditation.

And with a load of enthusiasm and curiosity, I started to read and research.  Then life happened and my spirituality was pushed to the side, like it so often has been over the years.  Before long, my connection to and relationship with Brighid was not even something that graced my conscious.  In fact, until this prompt was presented, I'd scarcely given her a thought.

About 3 months ago, I really started to look at my relationship with the divine.  I began to question what it was that I believed about the divine.  And I hit a wall.  Was I polytheistic?  Or duotheistic?  Perhaps Atheism or Agnosticism?  I didn't really like the idea of a being or beings lording power over me and being more powerful that I could ever be. So did I even believe in divine beings? 

I'm still unsure.

Still, I need to research Brighid and give her the respect she deserves for bothering to come to me.  And I need to continue to examine my view of the divine.  As of this moment, my Shanda-ism is not driven by deity.  I believe that all things are interconnected and they are all made up of energy.  That, for the time being, works for me.

Animism, part two

Week #2 - the letter "A" continued

After reading my week #1 blog post on Animism, my friend L. was wondering if spirit and soul were the same thing.  Honestly, I hadn't thought about it prior to writing the blog and even up until the moment L. posed the question.  But it got me thinking: are they the same thing or not?

My first thought is yes, they are the same thing.  Your soul and your spirit are the essence of your being.  They encompass your emotions, your thoughts, your memories.  It is the part of a person or object that is energy. 

After more thought, and a bit of research, I'm not as sure of my initial definition of spirit and soul being one in the same.

Dictonary.com provides the following definitions:

Spirit: noun
1. the principle of conscious life; the vital principle in humans, animating the body or mediating between body and soul.
2. the incorporeal part of humans: present in spirit though absent in body.
3. the soul regarded as separating from the body at death.
4. conscious, incorporeal being, as opposed to matter: the world of spirit.
5. a supernatural, incorporeal being, especially one inhabiting a place, object, etc., or having a particular character: evil spirits.

Soul: noun
1. the principle of life, feeling, thought, and action in humans, regarded as a distinct entity separate from the body, and commonly held to be separable in existence from the body; the spiritual part of humans as distinct from the physical part.
2. the spiritual part of humans regarded in its moral aspect, or as believed to survive death and be subject to happiness or misery in a life to come: arguing the immortality of the soul.
3. the disembodied spirit of a deceased person: He feared the soul of the deceased would haunt him.
4. the emotional part of human nature; the seat of the feelings or sentiments.
5. a human being; person.

Based on the above definitions, the following statements are true:

• a soul is something that is unique to human beings
• a spirit is a soul, but only when it is no longer encased in a body or physical object

Hmmm.

If we reflect on the two definitions of Animism, (1) the belief in souls/spirits and (2) the belief that non-human entities have souls/spirits, and combine it with the definitions of soul and spirit, the first definition still holds as 100% true and accurate to me and in my beliefs.  The second definition of Animism, however, doesn't jive when you include the definitions of soul and spirit, especially the one for soul.

More Hmmm.

My thought process now leads me to considering if I agree with the definitions of spirit and soul as provided by my source.  I do, but I don't.

To me, a soul is your energy and this energy can be in humans, objects, animals, etc.  It is not unique to human beings.  When you soul leaves your body, or whatever it was contained within, it becomes a spirit.  The energy is the same but the location is different. 

Utilizing my own definitions for soul and spirit, I still fully believe in Animism as it is explained in the two-part definition I've used here and in my first post on Animism.

I recently found the picture below.  I think it is a good, but not complete, view of what a soul is and is not.  It does cover what many people feel is an accurate definition of a soul, but doesn't accurately represent my full view on a soul and how I relate it to Animism.