Prayer

Shortly after my husband and I separated and I moved to Omaha (September 2014), I began reciting a nightly prayer for my kids. It was my way of staying connected to and with them.  Here it is:

Zayne and Kyah - my stepkids

"By Earth, by Air, by Fire and Water

Please protect my son and daughter.

Keep them safe throughout the night,

Waking them gently when the time is right. 

Wrap them securely in the light of my love,

Protecting them from harm, both below and above  

Never let them doubt how much they mean to me,

For as I will it, so more it be". 

After my daughter passed away (January 2016), I needed to change it. My nightly prayer for my son remained the same with a few changes in the wording. 

"By Land, by Wind, by Flame and Rain

Please protect my amazing son Zayne.

Keep him safe throughout the night,

Waking him gently when the time is right. 

Wrap him securely in the light of my love,

Protecting him from harm, both below and above  

Never let him doubt how much he means to me,

For as I will it, so more it be". 

I've been struggling to write something for my daughter so I've been using the original prayer and modifying it for a single person and using feminine pronouns. But it doesn't quite fit so I'll be coming up with something - hopefully - soon. 

Nightly prayers are something of a comfort to me. I remember praying before bed as a child. My most vivid memory of nightly prayer comes from my paternal grandmother. She would pray every night, say a rosary, and read some from the bible. It was beautiful to watch her transform as she worked through her bedtime prayer routine. 

Besides the prayers for the kids, I often toss out a few other requests for those I love and hold most dear. Generally it's just a request that they be loved and protected and find peace. Occasionally I will offer up some love for someone I've never met but have heard could use a boost. This could be from a news report, word-of-mouth, or a donor I've spoken with at work. 

As I write this, I realize that I don't pray for myself. As per typical Shanda fashion, my focus and concern is for others.  This is something I plan to actively work at changing because I need the love and support too.