Zen

Week 52 - the letter "Z" again

Here we are with the end of the 2014 Pagan Blog Project.  I am quite proud that I completed the project and posted at least 52 times.  I am definitely going to continue with the project in 2015 because I've learned so much about myself and about my spirituality.

This week, I'm writing about the art of being Zen.  

Zen
/zɛn/ noun
1. a Japanese school, of 12th-century Chinese origin, teaching that contemplation of one's essential nature to the exclusion of all else is the only way of achieving pure enlightenment
2. Chinese Ch'an. Buddhism. a Mahayana movement, introduced into China in the 6th century a.d. and into Japan in the 12th century, that emphasizes enlightenment for the student by the most direct possible means, accepting formal studies and observances only when they form part of such means.

To many, myself included, Zen is a feeling or a mindset of enlightenment.  It is one of peace, comfort, and security.  While it is a movement or practice, it is also a state-of-mind.  Zen is something I personally wish to achieve and then maintain as much as possible.

Participating in this blog project has allowed me to dig deeper into my personal belief system and establish what it is and what it is not.  For me, that is something that helps bring me to a very zen-like state.  Being an eclectic Pagan, I have no rules or guidelines to follow.  It is up to me to create these for my Shanda-ism.  I generally dislike labels and putting things into categories, but I did need to do that for this.  

Is it defined fully and completely?  No.  But I am getting closer and do have a firmer grip on myself and my spirituality.  And I am honestly proud of the discoveries I've made along this journey and look forward to continuing the next step.

Here's what I've discovered:

Shanda-ism is:

• Pagan
• Eclectic
• Focused on the Elements of Earth, Air, Fire, and Water
• Honoring the Moon, especially her full stage
• Recognizing and celebrating the Seasonal changes, primarily on the changes within Nature
• Balanced in as many ways possible
• Belief in Animism, Pantheism, and reincarnation
• Supports, nurtures, and gives back to the Pagan community that is my own 
• Influenced by Wicca, ADF Druidism, Buddhism, Huna, and Feri Tradition
• It's a little bit Hedge Witch-based
• When I practice magick, it is Grey Witchcraft - embracing both good and bad/light and dark while fully understanding the consequences of all actions
• Belief in Karma as both fear- and love-based
• Has guidelines, not rules, that are based on my personal morals and ethics
• Incorporating labyrinths and animals when possible
• Mostly solitary but does play well with others
• Encourages family participation and exploration

 
Shanda-ism is not:

• Christian
• Highly structured
• Deity-driven
• Focused on Magic(k)
• Ran on Pagan Standard Time 
• Filled with hard and fast rules

Z and K

Week 51 - the letter "Z"

It's a Z week and I didn't know what to write about and have spent most of the week trying to think of the right Z topic to really capture my spirituality.  And...nothing.  Nada.  Zilch.  Ended up having a two-hour phone call/bitch-fest/cry session with one of my best friends and it clicked.  Ironically, the topic actually has nothing to do with her.

I'm choosing to write about my kids - Z and K.  For the record, they are my step kids but I honestly couldn't love them more if they were my own.  And, technically, they are my soon-to-be ex-step kids since their father and I have separated and will be divorcing at some point.  Z is an almost 19 year old college freshman and K is a 15 year old high school sophomore.  I've been in their lives since they were 6, almost 7, and 3.

Why write about them in regards to my spirituality?  Well, for one, they are the two most important people in my life.  They are my family and have been involved with Paganism in some way since our lives joined together.  They have participated in rituals and study groups.  They have asked questions and discovered their own paths to explore and own.  One of my proudest Pagan Mama moments was when the two of them worked together to create and perform an Ostara ritual for our family.

The four of us would have family classes to learn more about Paganism and explore different ideas.  We have done some family rituals and were working towards establishing a family tradition of sorts.  Because of the changes in our lives, that isn't something we are actively working towards at the time.  I haven't spoken with them to see if it is something they would like to continue.

Did we actively raise the children to be Pagan?  Nope.  We encouraged them to find what worked for them.  We supported them as they were in different Christian-based youth groups.  They were never forced to attend a Pagan gathering or class.  I don't know that I would call us a Pagan family but the roots are there.  

My kids are tied to my spirituality because they are tied to me.  They are open-minded, smart, and passionate kids who are making their way in the world.  Z is exploring the Druid tradition and K has felt an affinity to Persephone.  I don't know if either we stay on a Pagan or Pagan-like path and I don't care.  I'm just glad that we have been able to share that connection and it will always remain a link between the three of us. 

At some point, I want to honor this connection with them with a tattoo or a piece of jewelry.  I've seen some designs that are referred to as the Celtic symbol for motherhood. From Inked Weddings:

Celtic Motherhood Knot Design: Traditionally, it is one of two hearts intertwined together; the lines seemingly have no openings, so they strongly signify an unbreakable bond. One heart is lower than the first heart and both hearts are intertwined in a continuous knot. Children are denoted by a dot which can be inside or outside the heart design.

Variations are hearts, starts, flowers, initials, zodiac symbols, colored dots symbolizing the birthstone or their names instead of the traditional dots. The variations and possibilities are endless and limited only by your imagination. A phrase you can incorporate into your motherhood knot design is: Grá Máthair which translated from Gaelic, means “A mother’s love”. Or you can use, Grá Mo Chroí which means the “love of my heart” or “my love, my darling”. Is there any love greater then that of a mother and her children? There is an old Irish saying that says ” A mother holds her children’s hands for a little while and their hearts forever.”

I like the design and symbolism a great deal.  I don't know if it is a route that I will go or not but it is something to consider.  My bond with the kids is important to me on every level and I'd like to proclaim that with something creative and unique. 

Yin Yang, part 2

Week 50 - the letter "Y" again

Last week was Yin Yang and I am fried from the week.  I honestly don't know what topic to cover and I also just cannot think much right now so we are going to play picture time on the same topic.

 

Yin Yang

Week 49 - the letter "Y"

The concept of Yin Yang is one that fits nicely into my spirituality.  Balance is incredible important to me in all aspects of my life and it is something that I actively work to achieve.  To many, the primary representation of Yin Yang (also known as "Yin and Yang" or "Yinyang") is a balance.  And while that is an aspect, it is not the only one.

There are four main aspects of Yin and Yang relationship:

1. Yin-Yang are opposites - They are either on the opposite ends of a cycle, like the seasons of the year, or, opposites on a continuum of energy or matter. This opposition is relative, and can only be spoken of in relationships. For example: Water is Yin relative to steam but Yang relative to ice. Yin and Yang are never static but in a constantly changing balance.
2. Interdependent: Can not exist without each other - The Tai Ji (Supreme Ultimate) diagram shows the relationship of Yin & Yang and illustrates interdependence on Yin & Yang. Nothing is totally Yin or totally Yang. Just as a state of total Yin is reached, Yang begins to grow. Yin contains seed of Yang and vise versa. They constantly transform into each other. For Example: no energy without matter, no day without night. The classics state: "Yin creates Yang and Yang activates Yin".
3. Mutual consumption of Yin and Yang - Relative levels of Yin Yang are continuously changing. Normally this is a harmonious change, but when Yin or Yang are out of balance they affect each other, and too much of one can eventually weaken (consume) the other.
4. Inter-transformation of Yin and Yang - One can change into the other, but it is not a random event, happening only when the time is right. For example: Spring only comes when winter is finished.

The complexity of Yin Yang is also incredibly simple.  And to me, that is beautiful.

General Qualities of Yin and Yang:

Yin = Darkness...Yang = Light
Yin = Moon...Yang = Sun
Yin = Feminine...Yang = Masculine
Yin = Shade...Yang = Brightness
Yin = Rest...Yang = Activity
Yin = West...Yang = East
Yin = Sunset...Yang = Sunrise
Yin = North...Yang = South
Yin = the heavens...Yang = the earth
Yin = Right...Yang = Left
Yin = Flat...Yang = Round
Yin = Matter...Yang = Energy
Yin = More material/dense...Yang = Non-material, rarefied

When you look at the symbol, you see how each section has a little bit of the other in itself.  You cannot have one without the other and they aren't truly opposites but do balance each other or are parts of a continuous cycles.  My goal is to lead a life as balanced as possible.

Yin and Yang is also used in Chinese Medicine.  The information is interesting but not something that excites me so visit this site to read more.

“If we never experience the chill of a dark winter, it is very unlikely that we will ever cherish the warmth of a bright summer’s day. Nothing stimulates our appetite for the simple joys of life more than the starvation caused by sadness or desperation. In order to complete our amazing life journey successfully, it is vital that we turn each and every dark tear into a pearl of wisdom, and find the blessing in every curse.” - Anthon St. Maarten, Divine Living: The Essential Guide To Your True Destiny

X marks the spot

Week 48 - the letter "X" again

Another free week and I'm just tired and done and 12 sorts of unmotivated.  I'm going to share more pictures that reflect my beliefs and help to further define "Shanda-ism".

Animism

Buddhist influence

Druid influence

Belief, morals, ethics

 Simplicity

Grey Witch

Pantheism

X is a kiss

Week 47 - the letter "X"

I'm late at posting but it is a free week since our letter is "X".  Because of posting late, feeling exceptionally tired and having a brain that is somehow still functioning at this point, I'm playing off the Witch post from last week and sharing some pics that capture my thoughts about being a witch.

P.S. Fun title, huh?

 What for more eXciting stuff to come!

Witch

Week 46 - the letter "W" again

I am a witch. Yep, you heard it correctly. 

I.

AM.

A.

WITCH.

But what does that mean?  Let's check a few dictionaries.

Dictionary.com has the following as the first entry for witch as a noun:

a person, now especially a woman, who professes or is supposed to practice magic or sorcery; a sorceress. 

Merriam-Webster has a similar first entry:

a woman who is thought to have magic powers

The ever-popular Urban Dictionary is the one that matches my definition the most:

One who practices witchcraft (not necessarily connected with Wicca).
It is also used to describe those who follow the Wiccan religion, and, in some instances, those who practice any type of magick (Goetic, Herbal, Enochian, etc).  

Why that one?  To me, a witch is someone who practices witchcraft (I define witchcraft as magick/spellwork).  It is not gender-specific.  The clarification is also made that not all witches are Wiccan and that is a huge point to include.  A witch doesn't have to be Pagan or believe in any religion whatsoever.  You can be a Catholic witch or an Atheist witch.  Another part of my definition is anyone who elects to describe themselves as being a witch should embrace the label with pride.

Because there are different definitions of witch and a generally negative vision of what and/or who a witch is and is not, people sometimes shy away from anything with the word in the title.  This can be books, websites, social networking sites, groups/organizations/covens.  Anything.  And it is because of this generalization and misunderstanding that some Pagans miss out on some amazing opportunities and connections. 

Media and the entertainment industry feed into stereotypes.

The Halloween version - green face, wart on the nose, old and ugly - is such a vivid image that often pops into the mind when you hear "witch". 

Cartoon witch by calslayton

Or maybe the Disney version that is often unattractive and usually evil. 

Neither are all that appealing. 

There's also the sexy witch that is a popular costume for adults. 

Movies and TV have helped and hurt with the stereotype.  The sisters of  "Charmed" looked like everyone else, even though their powers were amazing.  Seriously, I would love to have Piper's powers.  Hermione Granger of the "Harry Potter" world is portrayed as typical, smart, dedicated, and a high-achiever.  Umm, nothing wrong or scary there.  Saying, "Alohormora" and giving my wand a swish and flick has never unlocked my front door for me. 

How do you define the word?  Ask a close friend how they define it.  I would guess the responses are different if elaborated in any way.  They might be very different or just slightly. 

Take some time to dig into the word and how it makes you feel.  Do you cringe?  Roll your eyes?  Picture the stereotypical version?  Try to remove those versions from you mind and assumptions.  A witch is a person and no two people are ever truly the same.  The word is an identifying factor, a label much like friend, co-worker, minister, teacher, father.  And it is unique to each person who elects to use it to describe themselves.  

I am a witch.  I do not identify as a Wiccan but have studied it in the past and it is an aspect of my spirituality.  I do magick/spells from time to time.  I am a religious Pagan and I focus more on the spiritual aspects than the magickal aspects.  Would I say I have magical powers?  Not in a way that mundane folks would say.  I am sensitive and have a way with children and animals.  I wouldn't call them powers or abilities.  But I am a witch.  And I am proud to be one.

Wand

Week 45 - the letter "W"

Much like the need to purchase a tarot deck, I knew I needed to acquire various tools of the trade.  My first priority was to get a wand.  Cliche, right? 

I began searching.  I didn't know where to buy a wand and it was better to make your own tools.  Each and every time I was outside, I would search for a piece of wood, a branch, a twig, whatever made me feel like I had found something suitable.  Eventually I did when I was on a camping trip with my closest friends. 

The stick was discovered near our campsite and it just seemed right.  Before long, I had removed all the bark and just looked at it.  I have no clue what type of wood it was.  I don't know if it was purposely removed from the tree or fell with no intervention from man.  I just knew it felt right to me and it was found during a very memorable time with some of my best friends.

And it worked for me.  I never liked using an athame to cast a circle or to direct energy.  My wand felt right for that.  In fact, it was one of my most-used magickal items. 

One day I had the opportunity to lead a ritual for a new group of people.  I brought my tools, including my wand.  My precious, well-used, and appreciated wand.  And a few people snickered at it.  And some made comments.

"That's your wand?"
"Ummm...it's certainly rustic."
"Where are the crystals?  Why didn't you rub some oils into it or wrap it with wire?"
"It's so plain and just looks like a stick!"

It hurt.  This was my wand.  An extension of myself.  Something I'd found, created, used, and loved for nearly 10 years at that point. 

Looking around, I noticed a variety of wands.  Many had a crystal or other stone on the end, several were wrapped in wire, and a few had been oiled up to shine.  There were colorful wands, wands made of nothing but crystals, elaborate wands.  Some had feathers and some were made of bone.  There were those inscribed with symbols and names.

My wand had none of that.  It was plain, mostly straight and nothing remarkable or interesting.  It was a stick.  But it was still mine.

I still have my first wand and it is treasured. 

I've never used it in public again. 

I inherited a wand from a friend.  No wires, crystals, or inscription.  It's a stick that has been oiled and is shiny.  There's some bendy spots to give it a bit of personality.  It suits me and should I need a wand for public ritual, I will use it.

Most of my practice nowadays is done without tools or a lot of fanfare and bling.  But, should a need a wand for my private workings, I know which one will fit perfectly into my hand and work as a true extension of myself.

Honestly, I don't care if your tools are elaborate or plain, crafted by hand or purchased from a store.  You should use what works for you.  You should feel comfortable using your wand and it should be an extension of yourself and your energy.  Tools have their place in ritual and in magick. 

Don't let anyone tell you what your tools should be or what they should look like.  If it works for you, that is all that you need to know and feel.  Embrace the sticks or the chipped coffee mugs.  Love the pentacle altar tile you made with sharpies and glitter.  Be you and let your practice reflect that. 

Verbatim

Week 44 - the letter "V" again

The blog suggestions for the week didn't inspire me.  I thought about aspects of my spirituality that I could write about and I struggled.  I looked through lists of words - the strange and unique, pagan, spiritual, and more.  When I hit on the word "verbatim" I cringed and my mind started churning. 

verbatim [ver-bey-tim] 

adverb
1. in exactly the same words; word for word

adjective
2. corresponding word for word to the original source or text
3. skilled at recording or noting down speeches, proceedings, etc.

First, I need to admit my own guilt:  I used to take spells and rituals directly from other sources and use them exactly as written.  You too?  Whew! 

When I first started on the Pagan path, I had no clue what I was doing.  I didn't know what was right, what
was wrong, what was stupid.  I was winging it and too afraid to completely follow my instincts and go with what felt right to me.  Instead, I used the words of Scott Cunningham and Raven Grimassi and numerous other Pagan authors.  

And that worked for me for quite some time even though it never felt quite right and I wasn't feeling what I imagined I would and should.

Slowly, I started studying.  And from my studies, I became more confident in myself.  Those words that I used to use verbatim gave me a strong foundation and a sense of confidence.  I started to practice and wing it, all the while following my head and heart.  I began to craft my own path.

And I began to feel those things that I had imagined I would and should.

It was amazing!

I don't have issues with people who use spells or rituals directly from others and use them in their practice.  There are some chants and prayers that I still use that are not my own and they completely move me and make me feel the magick.  But I have found that there is something very powerful in using your own words, your own structure, your own ideas.  Your soul is reflected in your creation and that, in itself, is a very powerful and personal form of magick.  And it is one that is difficult to experience when the work is not your own creation.

There are many sources out there.  You can use what you find exactly as it was written.  You can copy and paste lines and paragraphs to create something new.  You can use existing materials and sub in different words and phrases.  Any time you put your own twist on something, it gains personal power.

There is nothing wrong with using materials from other people.  But there is such an immense power in making something your own.  Don't be afraid to try.  Start small and build up to something completely your own.  It is worth it and will help your practice grow deeper and become more personal and spiritual.

I still turn to others at times.  I may copy and paste bits and pieces and/or sub in different words or phrases.  And I am perfectly fine with doing so.  But nothing truly compares to performing a ritual that was crafted by my own hand.  It's an important part of my practice to be as connected to, and invested in, my workings and all aspects of my spirituality.