Yin Yang

Week 49 - the letter "Y"

The concept of Yin Yang is one that fits nicely into my spirituality.  Balance is incredible important to me in all aspects of my life and it is something that I actively work to achieve.  To many, the primary representation of Yin Yang (also known as "Yin and Yang" or "Yinyang") is a balance.  And while that is an aspect, it is not the only one.

There are four main aspects of Yin and Yang relationship:

1. Yin-Yang are opposites - They are either on the opposite ends of a cycle, like the seasons of the year, or, opposites on a continuum of energy or matter. This opposition is relative, and can only be spoken of in relationships. For example: Water is Yin relative to steam but Yang relative to ice. Yin and Yang are never static but in a constantly changing balance.
2. Interdependent: Can not exist without each other - The Tai Ji (Supreme Ultimate) diagram shows the relationship of Yin & Yang and illustrates interdependence on Yin & Yang. Nothing is totally Yin or totally Yang. Just as a state of total Yin is reached, Yang begins to grow. Yin contains seed of Yang and vise versa. They constantly transform into each other. For Example: no energy without matter, no day without night. The classics state: "Yin creates Yang and Yang activates Yin".
3. Mutual consumption of Yin and Yang - Relative levels of Yin Yang are continuously changing. Normally this is a harmonious change, but when Yin or Yang are out of balance they affect each other, and too much of one can eventually weaken (consume) the other.
4. Inter-transformation of Yin and Yang - One can change into the other, but it is not a random event, happening only when the time is right. For example: Spring only comes when winter is finished.

The complexity of Yin Yang is also incredibly simple.  And to me, that is beautiful.

General Qualities of Yin and Yang:

Yin = Darkness...Yang = Light
Yin = Moon...Yang = Sun
Yin = Feminine...Yang = Masculine
Yin = Shade...Yang = Brightness
Yin = Rest...Yang = Activity
Yin = West...Yang = East
Yin = Sunset...Yang = Sunrise
Yin = North...Yang = South
Yin = the heavens...Yang = the earth
Yin = Right...Yang = Left
Yin = Flat...Yang = Round
Yin = Matter...Yang = Energy
Yin = More material/dense...Yang = Non-material, rarefied

When you look at the symbol, you see how each section has a little bit of the other in itself.  You cannot have one without the other and they aren't truly opposites but do balance each other or are parts of a continuous cycles.  My goal is to lead a life as balanced as possible.

Yin and Yang is also used in Chinese Medicine.  The information is interesting but not something that excites me so visit this site to read more.

“If we never experience the chill of a dark winter, it is very unlikely that we will ever cherish the warmth of a bright summer’s day. Nothing stimulates our appetite for the simple joys of life more than the starvation caused by sadness or desperation. In order to complete our amazing life journey successfully, it is vital that we turn each and every dark tear into a pearl of wisdom, and find the blessing in every curse.” - Anthon St. Maarten, Divine Living: The Essential Guide To Your True Destiny

X marks the spot

Week 48 - the letter "X" again

Another free week and I'm just tired and done and 12 sorts of unmotivated.  I'm going to share more pictures that reflect my beliefs and help to further define "Shanda-ism".

Animism

Buddhist influence

Druid influence

Belief, morals, ethics

 Simplicity

Grey Witch

Pantheism

X is a kiss

Week 47 - the letter "X"

I'm late at posting but it is a free week since our letter is "X".  Because of posting late, feeling exceptionally tired and having a brain that is somehow still functioning at this point, I'm playing off the Witch post from last week and sharing some pics that capture my thoughts about being a witch.

P.S. Fun title, huh?

 What for more eXciting stuff to come!

Witch

Week 46 - the letter "W" again

I am a witch. Yep, you heard it correctly. 

I.

AM.

A.

WITCH.

But what does that mean?  Let's check a few dictionaries.

Dictionary.com has the following as the first entry for witch as a noun:

a person, now especially a woman, who professes or is supposed to practice magic or sorcery; a sorceress. 

Merriam-Webster has a similar first entry:

a woman who is thought to have magic powers

The ever-popular Urban Dictionary is the one that matches my definition the most:

One who practices witchcraft (not necessarily connected with Wicca).
It is also used to describe those who follow the Wiccan religion, and, in some instances, those who practice any type of magick (Goetic, Herbal, Enochian, etc).  

Why that one?  To me, a witch is someone who practices witchcraft (I define witchcraft as magick/spellwork).  It is not gender-specific.  The clarification is also made that not all witches are Wiccan and that is a huge point to include.  A witch doesn't have to be Pagan or believe in any religion whatsoever.  You can be a Catholic witch or an Atheist witch.  Another part of my definition is anyone who elects to describe themselves as being a witch should embrace the label with pride.

Because there are different definitions of witch and a generally negative vision of what and/or who a witch is and is not, people sometimes shy away from anything with the word in the title.  This can be books, websites, social networking sites, groups/organizations/covens.  Anything.  And it is because of this generalization and misunderstanding that some Pagans miss out on some amazing opportunities and connections. 

Media and the entertainment industry feed into stereotypes.

The Halloween version - green face, wart on the nose, old and ugly - is such a vivid image that often pops into the mind when you hear "witch". 

Cartoon witch by calslayton

Or maybe the Disney version that is often unattractive and usually evil. 

Neither are all that appealing. 

There's also the sexy witch that is a popular costume for adults. 

Movies and TV have helped and hurt with the stereotype.  The sisters of  "Charmed" looked like everyone else, even though their powers were amazing.  Seriously, I would love to have Piper's powers.  Hermione Granger of the "Harry Potter" world is portrayed as typical, smart, dedicated, and a high-achiever.  Umm, nothing wrong or scary there.  Saying, "Alohormora" and giving my wand a swish and flick has never unlocked my front door for me. 

How do you define the word?  Ask a close friend how they define it.  I would guess the responses are different if elaborated in any way.  They might be very different or just slightly. 

Take some time to dig into the word and how it makes you feel.  Do you cringe?  Roll your eyes?  Picture the stereotypical version?  Try to remove those versions from you mind and assumptions.  A witch is a person and no two people are ever truly the same.  The word is an identifying factor, a label much like friend, co-worker, minister, teacher, father.  And it is unique to each person who elects to use it to describe themselves.  

I am a witch.  I do not identify as a Wiccan but have studied it in the past and it is an aspect of my spirituality.  I do magick/spells from time to time.  I am a religious Pagan and I focus more on the spiritual aspects than the magickal aspects.  Would I say I have magical powers?  Not in a way that mundane folks would say.  I am sensitive and have a way with children and animals.  I wouldn't call them powers or abilities.  But I am a witch.  And I am proud to be one.

Wand

Week 45 - the letter "W"

Much like the need to purchase a tarot deck, I knew I needed to acquire various tools of the trade.  My first priority was to get a wand.  Cliche, right? 

I began searching.  I didn't know where to buy a wand and it was better to make your own tools.  Each and every time I was outside, I would search for a piece of wood, a branch, a twig, whatever made me feel like I had found something suitable.  Eventually I did when I was on a camping trip with my closest friends. 

The stick was discovered near our campsite and it just seemed right.  Before long, I had removed all the bark and just looked at it.  I have no clue what type of wood it was.  I don't know if it was purposely removed from the tree or fell with no intervention from man.  I just knew it felt right to me and it was found during a very memorable time with some of my best friends.

And it worked for me.  I never liked using an athame to cast a circle or to direct energy.  My wand felt right for that.  In fact, it was one of my most-used magickal items. 

One day I had the opportunity to lead a ritual for a new group of people.  I brought my tools, including my wand.  My precious, well-used, and appreciated wand.  And a few people snickered at it.  And some made comments.

"That's your wand?"
"Ummm...it's certainly rustic."
"Where are the crystals?  Why didn't you rub some oils into it or wrap it with wire?"
"It's so plain and just looks like a stick!"

It hurt.  This was my wand.  An extension of myself.  Something I'd found, created, used, and loved for nearly 10 years at that point. 

Looking around, I noticed a variety of wands.  Many had a crystal or other stone on the end, several were wrapped in wire, and a few had been oiled up to shine.  There were colorful wands, wands made of nothing but crystals, elaborate wands.  Some had feathers and some were made of bone.  There were those inscribed with symbols and names.

My wand had none of that.  It was plain, mostly straight and nothing remarkable or interesting.  It was a stick.  But it was still mine.

I still have my first wand and it is treasured. 

I've never used it in public again. 

I inherited a wand from a friend.  No wires, crystals, or inscription.  It's a stick that has been oiled and is shiny.  There's some bendy spots to give it a bit of personality.  It suits me and should I need a wand for public ritual, I will use it.

Most of my practice nowadays is done without tools or a lot of fanfare and bling.  But, should a need a wand for my private workings, I know which one will fit perfectly into my hand and work as a true extension of myself.

Honestly, I don't care if your tools are elaborate or plain, crafted by hand or purchased from a store.  You should use what works for you.  You should feel comfortable using your wand and it should be an extension of yourself and your energy.  Tools have their place in ritual and in magick. 

Don't let anyone tell you what your tools should be or what they should look like.  If it works for you, that is all that you need to know and feel.  Embrace the sticks or the chipped coffee mugs.  Love the pentacle altar tile you made with sharpies and glitter.  Be you and let your practice reflect that. 

Verbatim

Week 44 - the letter "V" again

The blog suggestions for the week didn't inspire me.  I thought about aspects of my spirituality that I could write about and I struggled.  I looked through lists of words - the strange and unique, pagan, spiritual, and more.  When I hit on the word "verbatim" I cringed and my mind started churning. 

verbatim [ver-bey-tim] 

adverb
1. in exactly the same words; word for word

adjective
2. corresponding word for word to the original source or text
3. skilled at recording or noting down speeches, proceedings, etc.

First, I need to admit my own guilt:  I used to take spells and rituals directly from other sources and use them exactly as written.  You too?  Whew! 

When I first started on the Pagan path, I had no clue what I was doing.  I didn't know what was right, what
was wrong, what was stupid.  I was winging it and too afraid to completely follow my instincts and go with what felt right to me.  Instead, I used the words of Scott Cunningham and Raven Grimassi and numerous other Pagan authors.  

And that worked for me for quite some time even though it never felt quite right and I wasn't feeling what I imagined I would and should.

Slowly, I started studying.  And from my studies, I became more confident in myself.  Those words that I used to use verbatim gave me a strong foundation and a sense of confidence.  I started to practice and wing it, all the while following my head and heart.  I began to craft my own path.

And I began to feel those things that I had imagined I would and should.

It was amazing!

I don't have issues with people who use spells or rituals directly from others and use them in their practice.  There are some chants and prayers that I still use that are not my own and they completely move me and make me feel the magick.  But I have found that there is something very powerful in using your own words, your own structure, your own ideas.  Your soul is reflected in your creation and that, in itself, is a very powerful and personal form of magick.  And it is one that is difficult to experience when the work is not your own creation.

There are many sources out there.  You can use what you find exactly as it was written.  You can copy and paste lines and paragraphs to create something new.  You can use existing materials and sub in different words and phrases.  Any time you put your own twist on something, it gains personal power.

There is nothing wrong with using materials from other people.  But there is such an immense power in making something your own.  Don't be afraid to try.  Start small and build up to something completely your own.  It is worth it and will help your practice grow deeper and become more personal and spiritual.

I still turn to others at times.  I may copy and paste bits and pieces and/or sub in different words or phrases.  And I am perfectly fine with doing so.  But nothing truly compares to performing a ritual that was crafted by my own hand.  It's an important part of my practice to be as connected to, and invested in, my workings and all aspects of my spirituality.

Virtues

Week 43 - the letter "V"

In February, I did a blog post on Divination.  One aspect I hit on was how I use my Virtues cards as amplifiers to my tarot readings.  Since we are on the letter "v" for the PBP, I wanted to revisit them and give more information.

The Virtues Reflection Cards are a product of The Virtues Project.  The Virtues Project was founded in Canada in 1991 by Linda Kavelin-Popov, Dr. Dan Popov and John Kavelin with the goal of empowering individuals to live more authentic meaningful lives.  The Project also expands to families and raising children, educators, religious/faith leaders, and those in the business world.  It is something that encompasses all people in all locations.

There are specific guides (for the various areas such as education) that focus on The Five Strategies:

• Speak the Language of the Virtues
• Recognize Teachable Moments
• Set Clear Boundaries
• Honor the Spirit
• Offer Companioning

I've not explored anything beyond the deck I own.  The deck contains 100 beautiful cards, each listing a virtue, its description, a quote relating to the virtue, how to practice the virtue, and an affirmation.  I use the cards in my readings but have also used them to inspire and/or guide me when I'm journaling or meditating.  It's also interesting to do a daily pull and focus on that virtue for the day.

If you want a virtual reading, explore the website.  You can do a one-card Virtues pick from the home page.  The personal life page allows you to do a Virtues spread.  There are also options to do a family and parenting pick or an education pick.

UGH

Week 42 - the letter "U" again

Since I really don't have much more to say about the Unitarian Universalist Association, I needed a different "U" topic for this week.  I considered writing about UPG (Unverified Personal Gnosis) because the idea fascinates me but I just could not do something deep and write a post that would require detailed thought.  So, what's a girl to do?  I looked up words - Pagan and otherwise - and found nothing that made me get all jazzed and motivated to write.

UGH! That's it...I will write about UGH moments.

UGH is an interjection and is used as an exclamation of disgust, annoyance, aversion, horror, or dislike. For me, this UGH is generally accompanied by an eye roll, a exasperated sigh, and/or a knowing glance with my closest friends..  Pagan moments, statements, types of people that make me go UGH are, typically, those of the "Fluffy" or "Fluffbunny" or "Hollywood" variety. 

Let me attempt to explain what I mean based on MY OPINIONS AND MY PERSONAL EXPERIENCES.  I also want to note that I do not hate or dislike the people that fall into the categories I am attempting to define.  I was one at a point early on in my journey and had friends that were as well.  Some grew out of it (phase), some stayed in it (see below), and I grew into a Pagan.  My issues are that my Paganism is my religion and my spirituality and so anyone or anything that draws negative attention or mockery does nothing to help improve society's image of Pagans and Paganism.  Everyone has the right to be the person and the Pagan they wish to me, regardless of what me, or anyone else, thinks.  (Please excuse the overused bold above but I really want people to read and notice what I have to say about what I'm about to say.)

The "Hollywood" type is the Pagan who gathers most, if not all, of their knowledge and belief from movies and fictional books and puts that knowledge into practice without further exploration.  These are often the people who claim extensive lineage of their witchiness, are fairly certain they could easily fit in with the "Charmed" sisters, and would definitely admire Sarah, Bonnie, Rochelle, and Nancy from "The Craft."

The "Hollywoods" want to be witches.  Because magick is easy and anyone can do it, especially those born into the tradition as natural-born witches.  And it's cool!  And it makes them special.  They are drawn to this idea and it is something to try for a while or to shock someone.  It's often a phase unless they actually start to do research and meet others who are not of a similar mindset...people who are Pagans that may or may not practice magick but also find so much more in a spirituality in which they identify.  It's a commitment and not just fun and games.

(For the record, I still like "The Craft" and I would most want to be Piper on "Charmed".  I love most books and movies about witches and all things occult.  I giggle at the silliness and am in awe with some of the powers and abilities.  But I am able to differentiate between fact and fiction.)

"Fluffy" and "Fluffbunny" can be interchangeable with "Hollywood" but Fluffbunnies are more about the mystical realms, insist they already know everything they need to know, believe all Pagans should think the same as they do and have the same values and intentions, and are very forceful and insistent about the "rules" of being a Pagan - what you can do and what you cannot do. Their way is the right and only and true way.  Anyone who says otherwise is a bully or intolerant or uneducated.

Some statements that may be viewed as fluffy:

1. "I can't do that because of personal gain."
2. "Everyone is supposed to follow the Wiccan Rede."
3. "Seeing that puppy in the pet store is a sign that I should have a baby."
4. "Never work a spell under the dark moon."
5. "But the [insert at least three different correspondences] aren't in conjunction and don't work towards my intention so I simply cannot do this ritual now."

My thoughts:

1. What spell isn't based on some amount of personal gain?  You are trying to cause a change either for yourself or for someone else.  Someone will benefit.  Someone will gain.  And even if it isn't "personal" gain, you are going to feel good about yourself for helping out.
2. No.  The Wiccan Rede is called "Wiccan" for a reason.  It is a guide for those who identify as Wiccan.  Not all Pagans are Wiccan.  Not all Pagans are Witches.  Not all Witches are Pagan. You see where this is going, right?
3. Not everything is a sign.  There are coincidences.  And, when you put yourself somewhere like a pet store and see a pet, you don't need to read into it.  And if you are looking for a sign to confirm an idea or change, believe me, you will find it in someway and justify the hell out of your sign.  When something crosses your path repeatedly and/or in non-typical situations, consider that it might be a sign.  Consider it.
4. Words like "everyone", "always", and "never" are red flags.  They indicate absolute rules that are to be followed.  Different people, various traditions, special circumstances lead many Pagans down a path that is uniquely their own.  
5. Someone, at sometime, decided that the color red symbolized love, that Hematite was a good stone for grounding, and that work performed under a waning moon will certainly backfire.  While that may be true for you, it might not be true for someone else.  Your energy and your beliefs add the oomph to the object you work with so if you don't believe the red symbolizes love, you won't have the confidence you need in performing your spell.  Find what works for you and then use it.

My path is my own.  It is unique to me and it is built from the books I've read, the people I've met, the experiences I've had, and my own gut instinct.  What I do may not work for you...either at all or just in part.  This also means I may roll my eyes and think you are "Hollywood" or "fluffy", but if that is your path and your way...OWN IT!  I own my Shanda-ism and it is what I believe and what makes me feel fulfilled on a spiritual level.

Unitarian Universalist

Week 41 - the letter "U"

If you've read my blog or know me in person, you are probably aware that I was born Catholic and raised as such until I "revolted" and wanted to find my own path.  While the beliefs of Catholicism didn't work for me, I did love the church family.  There was a certain beauty and comfort in the structure of the Sunday service, friendships grew quickly with those in my Catechism class, and the other moms and dads in the congregation became instant aunts and uncles to all the children.  It really was a family-like atmosphere. 

When I started exploring different religions and faiths, I missed having that stability of a church home and family.  I'm not saying that I haven't found something like that in Paganism.

But it's different.

Most of my close friends are those who are members in the same Pagan groups as me.  And the people I am closest to and consider to be more family than friends?  I met them through a shared interest in Paganism.  We do worship and celebrate our spirituality one-on-one, in small groups, and even in large groups.

But it's different.

I cannot tell you how it is different or why it is different.  It just is.  And it is something I miss.

When I discovered that Kearney had a Unitarian Universalist Fellowship, I was intrigued.  I knew many UU churches were very Pagan-friendly, hosted Pagan groups and rituals, and some had the Covenant of Unitarian Universalist Pagans (CUUPS).  A friend spoke fondly of her experiences with her UU church and was disappointed when the closest UU church was at least a 2 hour drive away.  It wasn't until she had moved away that I found out about the Fellowship.

Although I only attended a few times, it felt good and it felt right.  The members were very warm and welcoming.  They were interested in getting to know me as a person and find out more about my belief system.  I even presented a section on Paganism.  There was fellowship and a shared sense of purpose.

And then I moved.

Omaha has 2 UU congregations that appear to be highly active.  Because the Kearney group was a Fellowship, we only met twice a month.  The churches in Omaha meet weekly and offer different programs throughout the week.  Sadly, there isn't a CUUPS chapter here.  At least not yet.

Besides being an open-minded, non-denominational, welcoming association, the Christian god is not pushed in the agenda. The seven principles of the UUA also really resonate with me.

• 1st Principle: The inherent worth and dignity of every person;
• 2nd Principle: Justice, equity and compassion in human relations;
• 3rd Principle: Acceptance of one another and encouragement to spiritual growth in our congregations;
• 4th Principle: A free and responsible search for truth and meaning;
• 5th Principle: The right of conscience and the use of the democratic process within our congregations and in society at large;
• 6th Principle: The goal of world community with peace, liberty, and justice for all;
• 7th Principle: Respect for the interdependent web of all existence of which we are a part.

 On the UUA website you can find a more comprehensive description of each principle.

These seven principles are expressed in a simpler language in the children's program:

• 1st Principle: We believe that each and every person is important.
• 2nd Principle: We believe that all people should be treated fairly and kindly.
• 3rd Principle: We believe that we should accept one another and keep on learning together.
• 4th Principle: We believe that each person must be free to search for what is true and right in life.
• 5th Principle: We believe that all persons should have a vote about the things that concern them.
• 6th Principle: We believe in working for a peaceful, fair, and free world.
• 7th Principle: We believe in caring for our planet Earth, the home we share with all living things.

 Here is another interpretation of the principles, called promises in this version:

Totem animals, part 2

Week 40 - the letter "T" again

In my previous post on totem animals, I shared the soul collage my friend made based off a set of cards.  Well, I now have that info to share. 

The deck is Medicine Cards by David Carson and Jamie Sams.  According to the book that accompanies the deck:

Each and every person has nine power or totem animals that represent the medicine they carry in their earth walk.  These animals or creature beings emulate each person's abilities, talents, and challenges

Cool, eh?

Based on the order in which you draw your cards you get deeper meaning and interpretation. 

East: the animal in the east guides you to your greatest spiritual challenges and guards your path to illumination. 

• I got Turtle (Mother Earth) 
• Turtle...Great Mother, Feed my spirit, Clothe my heart, That I may serve you too
• If you draw the Turtle card, it augurs a time of connecting with the power of Earth and the Mother-Goddess within.  This is a reminder of the ally you have in Mother Earth.  It does not matter what situation you have created, ask her for assistance, and abundance will follow.

South: the animal in the south protects the child within and reminds you when to be humble and when to trust, so that innocence will be balanced in your personality.

• I got Fox (Camouflage)
• Fox...Where are you?  Under the ferns? Becoming the forest, So I can learn?  Are you watching, Invisible to me?  Trying to teach me, To become a tree?
• If Fox has chosen to share its medicine with you, it is a sign that you are to become like the wind, which is unseen yet is able to weave into and through any location or situation.  You would be wise to observe the acts of others rather than their words at this time.  Use your cunning nature in a positive way; keep silent about who and what and why you are observing.  In learning the art of camouflage, you need to test your abilities to pull this off.

West: the animal in the west leads you to your personal truth and inner answers.  It also shows you the path to your goals.

• I got Mouse (Scrutiny)
• Mouse...If I could see the world, Through your tiny eyes, Maybe then I would know, How to scrutinize.  Every detail carries weight, And true to its purpose, Has its perfect puzzle place, To stop the "three-ring circus!"
• If Mouse is in your card-spread, its medicine is telling you to scrutinize.  Look at yourself and others carefully.  Maybe that big hunk of cheese is sitting on a trigger that will spring a deadly trap.  Maybe the cat is in the pantry waiting for you.  Maybe someone to whom you have delegated authority, such as a doctor, a lawyer, or even a plumber, is not doing the job faithfully.  The message is to see what is right before your eyes and to take action accordingly.

North:  the north animal gives wise counsel and reminds you when to speak and when to listen.  It also reminds you to be grateful for every blessing every day.

• I got Salmon (Wisdom/Inner-knowing)
• Salmon...keeper of inner knowing, Illuminate all that I can see, Fill me with the love of learning, Life's sacred wisdom offered to me.
• If Salmon swam into your cards today, it may be telling you to trust your guy feeling and inner knowing at this time.  Avoid the influence of those who may have hidden agendas or who manipulate events for their personal gain.  Do you need to reflect on the personal experiences that will help you decide whether the tide is ebbing, or flowing in the direction that benefits your forward movement and growth?  The wisdom is inside you, and when honoring it, you will not go wrong.

Above: the above animal teaches you how to honor the great star nation, and remind you that you came from the stars and to the stars you will return.  This animal is also the guardian of the dream time - for your personal access to the other dimensions.

• I got Wolf (Teacher)
• Wolf...Teacher, Pathfinder, Moon-dog of my soul, Howling, Singing, Teaching how to know.
• If you have drawn Wolf's card, you may be able to share your personal medicine with others.  Your intuitive side may also have an answer or teaching for your personal use at this time.  As you feel Wolf coming alive within you, you may wish to share your knowledge by writing or lecturing on information that will help others better understand their uniqueness or path in life.  It is in the sharing of great truths that the consciousness of humanity will attain new heights.  Wolf could also be telling you to seek out lonely places that will allow you to see your teacher within.  In the aloneness of a power place, devoid of other humans, you may find the true you.  Look for teachings no matter where you are.  Wolf would not come to you unless you requested the appearance of the tribe's greatest teacher.

Below: the below animal teaches you about the inner earth, and how to stay grounded and on the path.

• I got Raven (Magic)
• Raven...Black as pitch, Mystical as the moon, Speak to me of magic, I will fly with you soon.
• If you have chosen Raven, magic is in the air.  Do not try to figure it out; you cannot.  It is the power of the unknown at work, and something special is about to happen.  The deeper mystery, however, is how you will respond to the sparkling synchronicity of this alchemical moment.  Will you recognize it and use it to further enhance your growth?  Can you accept it as a gift from the Great Spirit?  Or will you limit the power of the Great Mystery by explaining it away?

Within: the within animal teaches you how to find your heart's joy and how to be faithful to your personal truths.  It is also the protector of your sacred space, the place that is yours alone and is never shared except by invitation.

• I got Elk (Stamina)
• Elk...Your antlers reach for the sun.  Show me that strength and stamina are one.
• If you have picked Elk medicine, you may be telling yourself to seek the company of your own gender for awhile.You may need a support group to realign yourself with the stamina of the warrior/warrioress energy that you are a part of.  This communication with others of your own sex allows you to air your feelings in safety and to get feedback from others who have had the same experiences.  You may need a new sense of community - communication in unity.

Right side: this animal protects your male side and teaches you that no matter where you turn, it will be your father-protector within.  This animal also carries your courage and warrior spirit.

• I got Ant (Patience)
• Oh tiny Ant...Your patience grows, Like the sands of time.  Can I learn to be like you? Of is it too sublime?
• If Ant meandered into your spread today, it is time to show a little trust and patience in some life situation.  You may have forgotten that you will always receive that which you need, at the time when you need it most.  If it is not on the horizon or just around the next anthill, you may need to use some strategy.  How can you put to use your power of creation until "it" arrives - whatever "it" means to you at this time?

Left side: this animal is the protector of your female side and teaches you that you must learn to receive abundance as well as to nurture yourself and others.  The left-side animal is also your teacher about relationships and mothering.

• I got Butterfly (Transformation)
• Butterfly...That flutters In the morning light, You have known many forms, Before you e'er took flight.
• If you look closely at what Butterfly is trying to teach, you will realize that it is the never-ending cycle of self-transformation.  The way to discern where you are in this cycle is to ask yourself:
1. Is this the egg stage:  Is it just a thought or idea?
2. Is this the larva stage:  Do I need to make a decision?
3. Is this the cocoon stage:  Am I developing and doing something to make my idea a reality?
4. Is this the birth stage:  Am I sharing my completed idea?

• By asking yourself these questions, you will discover how Butterfly is relating to you at this moment.  When you understand where you are, the symbol can teach you what to do next to continue in the cycle of self-transformation.  If you have found the position through which you are cycling, you will see the creativity of Butterfly.

Going back and reading through the analysis, I think I might need to get this deck.  I definitely want to explore totem animals and further discover the meaning behind the special animals in my life.  Even if I don't get the deck, I will use the spread.